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Anxiety is a condition that can close you off to others. For friends and family of those living with anxiety, this can represent a serious
12 Do’s and Don’ts of Helping Someone With Anxiety. Anxiety is a condition that can close you off to others.

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For friends and family of those living with anxiety, this can represent a serious challenge. You want to help them deal with their condition, but you don't know what to say to them that diminishes their distress. It's important to realize that while anxiety is not a physical condition, it's also not something that can be cured by logic or reasoning. Like a disease, anxiety is something that needs special treatment. In this article, we'll give a background on what it's like to live with anxiety, followed by information on how to help your family members or friends with anxiety. Living With Anxiety. You need to realize that anxiety disorders are not like normal anxiety. It's not like the anxiety you feel before a meeting with your boss, or when you come face to face with a bully at school. It's much more complex, much less controllable, and with passage of time, more difficult to cure. Self-Sustaining Nature of Anxiety. The first thing to understand is that anxiety itself is self-sustaining. It causes problems with your mind and body that make it more likely to experience further anxiety. For example, anxiety leads to more negative thinking, which then precipitates Anxiety can have physical manifestations, such as hyperventilation, sweating, nausea, etc., which can be very troubling. Anxiety also creates hypersensitivity, which is a mental response that makes people more prone to noticing those physical symptoms and letting it affect them. If anxiety were just nervousness and sweating, anxiety disorders may not be considered as serious. But anxiety is so much more than that, and the longer you live with anxiety the more prevalent these symptoms can get. Fearing Anxiety. Anxiety can also cause people to fear the anxiety itself, which unfortunately affects other areas of their life. When you're nervous about one thing (for example, social situations) you can become nervous about other things as a result (for example, amusement park rides). So when someone starts to fear their own anxiety and its symptoms, they may also develop new anxieties, or find more situations to provoke anxiety. Learning to Forget What You Think About Anxiety. As someone with family members or friends who have anxiety or a panic disorder, it's important to understand what anxiety really is. For example, did you know that someone with anxiety can experience physical symptoms even when they're not mentally anxious? Did you know that one of the symptoms of a panic attack is a feeling of imminent death or doom, combined with intense physical symptoms that are nearly identical to heart attacks? If you've never had anxiety, it's extremely difficult to empathize and understand, because it is so much different than the normal anxieties people experience in their everyday life. If you start trying to cure" your friend's anxiety by assuming you understand what they're dealing with, you're going to struggle, and you may actually upset your friend or family member more. The Do's and Don'ts of Anxiety. With that in mind, it's time to go over some tips on how to help a friend with anxiety. Note that every person is different and has different needs. There are some people who want to talk about their anxieties, and there are others who may have never mentioned it. So even with these do's and don'ts, it's hard to know exactly what you should do. However, this can be a helpful guide. DO let this person know that they can talk to you about it openly, without any fear of judgment. It's very important that they know that you're there to lend them an ear, and that you aren't going to judge them or change the way you think/feel about them based on anything they say - even if they say the same fear over and over again (because for many, the fears and thoughts are nearly exactly the same each time). DON'T get frustrated. Those with anxiety really do know that their fears shouldn't bother them, but as hard as they try they can't stop, and expecting them to use logic to control their anxiety is extremely difficult, if not impossible. DO spend time with them as much as possible. You being around them is a bigger help than you realize. In fact, they may not realize it either. But time spent with others makes it harder to think about their anxieties, and that makes a difference. DON'T bring up the anxiety often. This is a tricky one - while you want to be there to talk about it, there are some anxieties, like panic attacks, that can be triggered by thinking about it. In other words, if you ask someone "how are your panic attacks?" you may accidentally trigger an attack. Let them bring it up with you. DO tell them to call you anytime, anywhere. Talking on the phone and knowing someone is there to pick up can actually be incredibly comforting to someone that is trying to control their anxiety. Anxiety can make people feel lost and alone. Knowing that someone is a phone call away reduces that feeling. DON'T let anxiety affect you as well. Make sure that you are working on your own stress and anxiety, because the way you feel can have an effect on the way others feel, especially as you spend more and more time again. If you're dealing with anxiety yourself, the other person is going to deal with more anxiety as well. DO be forgiving.













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