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How quickly should you reply? And how long do... Online Dating Tips: Start a Great Conversation & Keep It Going.

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This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 64,648 times. When you first enter the dating pool, online dating can seem like a pretty intimidating beast: how do you know what to talk about? How quickly should you reply? And how long do you need to chat online before taking things to the next level? If you feel like a fish out of water, don’t worry—you’re not alone! We’ve compiled some of the most helpful tips for chatting online so you can get to know your potential date before asking them out. Tips for Chatting Online. Talk about common interests. Check their profile if you don’t know what their interests are. Talk about pop culture if you guys are both into that. Ask them their favorite movie or show or talk to them about a new show you’re watching. If you’re interested in them, send some flirty messages. Say something like “You’ve never seen Twilight ?! I’m not sure if this will work…” Include an emoji to lighten the mood. Talk about a common interest in your opening message. Check out their profile to see what they like to do. Once you learn a little more about them, you can craft a message that talks about something you two have in common. [1] X Expert Source. “Hey! I saw your hiking pics, they look so pretty. I love hiking, too!” “I’ve never met another person who does roller derby! How often do you hit the rink?” Reader Poll: We asked 378 wikiHow readers how they initiate conversations with people online, and 49% said they talk about something on their profile. [Take Poll] Advertisement. Ask them questions about themselves. Online dating is all about getting to know the other person. Since the only things you know about them are from their profile, try expanding on those to get a little more insight into who they are. You don’t have to treat it like an interrogation (since that can feel a little intense), but some casual questions near the beginning of your convo can really get the ball rolling, especially if they have some pets or traveling pictures in their profile. [3] X Expert Source. “That pic of your pup is so cute! How old are they?” “Have you ever been to the rose garden?” See if they like living in the area. “How long have you been in San Francisco?” “Do you like living here in Minnesota?” “What’s your favorite thing about living here?” Advertisement. Chat about pop culture. “You’ve got to watch that new Netflix documentary about mushrooms. It’s insane!” “Are you gonna go see the new Batman movie? I’m pretty curious about it, honestly.” Give them a few compliments. You can flatter your potential date by telling them something you like. Since you don’t know this person well yet, stay away from anything physical, and compliment them on something you noticed in their profile. [7] X Expert Source. “You have such a nice smile! It really shines through in all your pics.” “You look like you have such a good fashion sense. I love your outfit in that first pic!” “You have such a good sense of humor. I can tell you’d be fun to hang out with.” Advertisement. Send a few flirtatious messages. “Red Sox fan, huh? You must be pretty bummed out this season!” “You’ve never seen Twilight ?! Wow, idk if this will work out.” Throw out a few hypotheticals. “What would you do if a zombie apocalypse started right now?” “Would you rather fight 10 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?” Advertisement. Try to reply quickly. If you do decide to give out your digits, say something like, “I’m not on this app a ton. Here’s my number if you want to keep chatting.” Expert Answer. How do you make a conversation less boring on Tinder? Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College. EXPERT ADVICE. Answer from Kristina Mirgorodskaya: Try to be creative with your questions and responses! You can comment on specific things, like their profile descriptions or image. Just try to keep it at 5-6 exchanges before suggesting to meet—longer, drawn-out conversations tend to lose momentum, especially when you are busy with other parts of life. See if they want to meet IRL. The goal of talking to someone online is to meet up in-person. After you’ve chatted back and forth for five to six times, suggest meeting up somewhere casual, like a cafe or a bar. [12] X Expert Source. Say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed our convo so far. Are you free this weekend to grab coffee or a drink?” Sometimes, people are a little wary about meeting up in-person too soon. If the person you’re chatting with wants to talk online a little more before meeting up, don’t be offended! They’re probably just trying to be safe. Advertisement. Try a video date to take things slow. You could suggest it by saying something like, “I really like chatting with you! Do you have time for a video call this evening? I’d love to hear your voice.” Don’t give out any personal info. If anyone ever sends you creepy messages, feel free to block and report their profile. Try to be reasonably sure that they are real and not a scammer. Make sure that the person is following a nice conversation and not asking you about your money. [16] X Expert Source. Advertisement. How Long Should You Talk to Someone on a Dating App Before Going on a Date? Join the Discussion. Damona Hoffman Celebrity Dating Coach. First of all, I recommend keeping your first message short and sweet. My easy formula is comment plus question". I couple those two things together because the comment is saying something specific about the profile that you connected to personally, while the question is an invitation to move the conversation forward. And it gives you something to hang the conversation on. If you're just saying, “Hi” or “I liked your profile” or something generic, it tends to start the conversation out without any real momentum. However, you absolutely need momentum to drive the relationship forward if your goal is to ultimately move it off of the app and into real life. There are so many matches and options that people are sorting through that you need a simple framework like this to get conversations going. This way, you'll be able to stay in the game, sort through your matches, communicate effectively, and figure out what you need to know about someone before you go to the next step with them. Good luck! To open a conversation with someone you've matched with on a dating app, mention something they've said in their profile to show you've read it and are interested in learning more about them as a person.













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